


Extended Family

by BagtheBagisnotaBag



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Family, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Pool Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BagtheBagisnotaBag/pseuds/BagtheBagisnotaBag
Summary: Davepeta is all pumped up to help Roxy host a pool party for their whole ectoclone family.This is just a straight-up family gathering. Absolutely no shenanigans ensue. None whatsoever. Don't even think about pulling a fast one on this ninja cat--oh Fuck.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Extended Family

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doomedclockwork](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomedclockwork/gifts).



Yours is not a typical family gathering but you love them all the same. You tap Roxy on the shoulder where she's swaying around her house with a tray of drinks. "Sup, mom." You say, grinning.

Roxy spins round to face you and you watch as the drink tray almost goes flying. Why does she have that job? Whose idea was that? You scoop it up with your cat-like reflexes before it can become a sad puddle on the tiles. "Whoops," Roxy says. And then notices who it is, "Davepeta! You made it! I'll be fucking honest with you. I was getting a little worried what with the party starting ten minutes ago and you not being here and all. Rosey and Dirky got here right on the dot and I didn't have my co-host with me to, well, co-host the fucking party!"

"Ah. Sorry! I lost track of time. You'd think someone of my aspect would have a handle on a thing like that but nope! Got distracted anyway." 

"Don't even worry about it," Roxy says waving you off. 

"Where are Dirk and Rose?" you ask, tilting your head.

"They're out by the pool soaking up and sun and god fucking knows. Well. I don't think Rose is. She parked herself under an umbrella last a saw." There's a knock at the door and Roxy spins around, "Coming! Go hand those drinks to Dirk and Rose, Davepeta. I'll get the door."

"No problem. What's a co-host for if not menial labor?" you say with a smirk, hoisting the drinks.

"Shoo. None of that." She says and sashays over to the front door.

Dirk is floating around in the pool on a donut float wearing a tight rash shirt and some bright orange swim trunks. Rose is laid out under the shade of a large umbrella wearing a frilly purple one-piece swimsuit obviously designed by her wife if the elegant patterns and curve accenting shape have anything to say about it. She glances up as you step out into the sun.

"Davepeta. You're overdressed."

"Overdressed and underfucked like I always say. Which one is yours?" you ask gesturing to the drinks on the tray.

"Charming. I haven't heard that one before. The martini, thank you. Still, this is a pool party. You should be wearing swim clothes." She says taking the glass and raising an eyebrow as she goes to sip. 

You roll your eyes and switch your red dress for the olive swim shorts and rash shirt you have in your sylladex. The shorts have little cats on them. You stretch, letting your wings spread wide before settling back into a slouch, "There. Happy now?"

"Very."

Roxy comes out with Dave trailing behind. He gives both of you a nod, already holding a juice box and decked out in dark red swim trunks. You nod back as Rose raises her glass in greeting. 

"Dirky!" she shouts. "Come get your juice! Davepeta bought it out for you!" the bell rings again from inside. "I'll get it!" she shouts and she hurries back inside.

Dirk lifts his head for the first time and says, "Sup, yall," Then hauls himself up and over into the water with a grunt and a quiet splash. It's not long before he pops up at the edge and hauls himself up onto the tiles.

Roxy brings out ARquius and Jasprose the latter of which immediately perches herself on top of Rose's huge umbrella and falls asleep. Somehow you, Dave, Dirk, and ARquius decide to play some pool wrestling--semi-clones v.s semi-clones. Dirk is riding ARquius's shoulders who floats in the water up to his chest and Dave rides yours. 

"There is no way we're going to lose this." You say, gripping Dave by the ankles and squaring your stance low in the water. "Bring it ARquius." He grins toothily back at you.

The two up top clash and start trying to jolt and push each other into the water but both you and ARquius are very strong from your respective troll halves and neither of your let your rider fall.

Dave and Dirk slide past each other, neither of them going under and disengage for a second to recuperate.

There's a knock at the gate that leads around the side of the house. Dave looks around, confused. "Did we miss a strilalonde?" 

Dirk, taking advantage of Dave's distraction, finally unstabilises him from your shoulders and pushes him into the drink as Roxy jumps up to get the gate.

"I'm coming!" she yells. A strong breeze blows past as Dave's head pops back up to the surface.

"Round two?" he says to Dirk, arching an eyebrow in question. 

Dirk nods, "Bring it."

Dave stands and you duck down to let him clamber back onto your shoulders. But before he can do that several things happen at once. The gate clicks open. With a roar someone who sounds suspiciously like Jake yells, "On guard!" and several people burst into the pool area. Someone in blue materializes out of thin air between you and dirk and tackles dirk into the water, knocking ARquius over with him. 

You duck down so only your eyes are peaking out of the water. Dave has latched onto your shoulder where a moment ago when he had started climbing onto your back. You watch as a whole squad of familiar humans burst into the fray. Jake--the first to enter--shoots dual water pistols at a startled Roxy before diving into a bush. He only has swim trunks on.

Jade, with her own huge water gun and a two-piece bikini aims for Rose who captchalogues her book with a *snap* before the first spray even hits. Jane comes up the rear, armed with a pool noodle and a once piece swimsuit. She immediately spots the two of you hiding out in the water and starts running towards you, bare feet slapping on the tiles with each step.

"Whelp." Is all Dave gets out from beside you before Jane yells out a loud "CANNONBALL!" and jumps into the deep end of the pool with a huge painful sounding *slap* soaking both of you. 

Seems like your family gathering has been thoroughly crashed. Now under the water, you can see John and Dirk wrestling in the shallows with ARquius hovering to the side. 

Someone else lands in the water beside you with a loud slash and you turn around to see Jake sinking under the water. He must have just been thrown into the pool.

You come up for air and Dave swims past you, running from a cackling Jane. Roxy is standing at the edge of the pool, one of Jake's water pistols in hand. Jade and Rose are wrestling over the gun behind Roxy and you are just about to shout a warning when Jade knocks into Roxy's back hard sending her stumbling into the pool after Jake. You laugh instead.

You get bapped on the head by a pool noodle and duck under the water to escape. Dave clambers onto your shoulders like a monkey making you a target as well, as Jane continues to slap the everloving shit out of the both of you with her pool noodle. 

"Fuck, Jane. Give us a break." Dave says, somehow cowering while on top of you.

"Never." She yells. Just as you manage to grab the end go her pool noodle. You wrestle it out of her hands. "Hey!"

"Never you say?" Brandishing the noodle like a sword. She makes a swipe for it but you pull it out of her reach and then bop it back down on her head before she can react. 

A huge yell and a splash comes from your right soaking all three of you. It's Jake being thrown into the pool--again. Roxy is back on the edge of the pool letting out a constant barrage of water from her stolen gun while Jake flounders over to your group to cower behind Jane who promptly gets sprayed as well as Roxy slides into the water and over to all of you without letting up for even a second.

"This did not go as planned," Jake says while Jane splutters from the spray of one of his stolen water guns.

"We can still beat them!" Jane says as Roxy's gun runs out of juice, "We have to after they didn't invite us to the party!" She slaps Jake on the arm, "You distract her while I get the others." 

Unlikely. Dirk and John are still wrestling in the other side of the pool and Rose and Jade are somewhere out of sight yelling back and forth. 

Roxy drops the empty water pistol letting it sink to the bottom of the pool, "No can do! I know all your tricks, Crocker and you can't expect to get the jump on me that easily. Even with surprise on your side!"

"Oh ho ho ho. Big words for a gal out a weapon."

"I'll show you out a weapon! Come here."

Jane shrieks laughing and splashes away as Roxy chases after her.

"Lovely day isn't it chums?" Jake says trying for casual as if he wasn't just yelling battle cries a few minutes ago.

You laugh, "Yeah. Not bad."

Still asleep on her umbrella perch Jasprose stretches and rolls over in the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> a christmas gift for the one and only [doomedclockworkart](https://doomedclockworkart.tumblr.com/) for Homestuck secret santa 2019. :D
> 
> all i can say it fuck yeah! Davepeta! 
> 
> (also hit me up if you have an AO3 account and ill officially add you as the giftee)


End file.
